Member-only story
You’re Not Broken, Your Needs Are Unmet
Understanding the two-way street of idealization in relationships.
“What is necessary to change a person is to change the awareness of himself.” ~Abraham Maslow
Trigger Warning: The following content includes personal experiences and discussions around difficult topics such as trauma, emotional challenges, childhood maltreatment, or abusive relationships. While my intent is to educate and share personal insights, some readers may find certain content emotionally distressing. This article is for informational purposes only.
I think one of the hardest things to hear is when someone says they’re “broken”.
They may tell you how they only seem to attract partners who break their hearts, where they’re thinking there’s something wrong with themselves. Or, they may say that breaking someone else’s heart is better than being left behind and having their own heart broken.
They may explain a heart-wrenching story of how they’ve been used by partners who were only looking out for themselves. Or, they may tell you how they learned earlier in life to take what you can, then leave.
You might hear how they want to feel loved but they’ve never felt good enough…
