Borderline personality disorder is really a pattern of trauma responses — I have studied Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) for years. Two things that have always affected me are how subpar many treatments are for BPD and how backwards diagnostics are regarding this very confusing — and stigmatized — disorder. BPD affects a person globally in many more ways than “just” their…

How childhood trauma changes our idea of “normal” — Being raised by narcissistic caregivers or growing up in a toxic environment affects us much deeper than we may realize and can affect our mind, emotions, and body more than we may be consciously aware of. Kids who experience constant stress, traumatic events, or chronic abuse develop difficulties in managing…

What to be aware of when it comes to trauma and relationships. — If we have experienced a traumatic event, we can respond to it in one of four common ways: fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. Of course, there are many variables that influence the intensity, duration, or quantity of a traumatic response including our age, how many traumatic events we’ve experienced, the…

Learning compassion for those suffering from complex trauma — “Traumatized people chronically feel unsafe inside their bodies: The past is alive in the form of gnawing interior discomfort.” Bessel van der Kolk Let me start by saying that this may be a trigger warning for some, and I apologize to anyone who may find this emotionally disturbing, but I…

Allostatic load and increased risks for chronic fatigue syndrome — Trigger Warning: This article talks candidly about potential long-term effects of complex childhood trauma. While my intention is to educate, some may struggle with reading this article in its entirety, especially if living with complex or relational trauma. As a kid, I loved to sleep. I pulled the covers up…

Look to their behavior patterns for the answer. — Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (cPTSD) and Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) are two mental health conditions with similar symptoms, are often diagnosed co-morbidly, and often include histories of profound childhood trauma. …

Unpacking what a ‘favorite person’ is & how to heal from this relationship pattern. — One of the biggest hallmarks of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is having a “favorite person”. This dynamic walks hand-in-hand with some key diagnostic criteria including having a pattern of intense and unstable relationships, deep fears of abandonment, and chronic feelings of emptiness. A ‘favorite person’ (“FP”) in BPD is not…

Understanding which pattern of love addiction is key in healing from it. — Our understanding and awareness of love-addicted behavior has blown up in recent years as a result of newer clinical research, and thanks to psychologists and therapists who specialize in trauma and addictive behaviors. Pathological love or “love addiction” is no exception to the rule; it shares many patterns with substance…

These lies can lead to a pattern of self-betrayal. — Not every negative emotion or feeling we have is trauma-based. Making this impulsive leap is how over-generalizations are born and can take on a life of their own. To assume that every time we feel stuck, it must be trauma-related is b.s. Sometimes, we feel stuck because we’re not motivated…