Just because they’re micro behaviors, doesn’t make them any less toxic. — The word “narcissism” has been tossed around interchangeably with Narcissistic Personality Disorder on blog posts and social media as being synonymous. The fact is, they’re not. Simply put: this is how people get incorrectly labeled and misdiagnosed who otherwise don’t meet the criteria for the disorder. Yet, if a person…

Understanding why is what helps you grow, if you let it. — It’s not my intention to trigger anyone. Writing this triggered a lot for me too, and dug up some painful memories. Please understand that some topics can’t be sugarcoated, or dumbed-down because they wind up losing their purpose. Please let this be a warning for some who may have experienced…

Does “splitting” override feeling a trauma bond? — Trauma bonds are based on emotional addiction, specifically love addiction. Emotional addiction is a controversial subject because there isn’t a lot of research to support its existence, although there is ample research supporting love addiction. Existing research attributes a biochemical cocktail as its foundation which includes both feel-good neurotransmitters such…

No matter how you slice it, it boils down to this one goal. — I get asked all the time what the most important goal should be when healing from attachment or relational trauma. The fact is, healing is a choice. And the choices we make as part of our healing are also our choice. Healing from relational trauma is an eye-opening and often…

Symptoms of “quiet borderline” often fly under the radar from the more obvious ones — Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a pervasive and lifelong disorder that can be officially diagnosed at the age of eighteen or older in the United States. BPD affects approximately 1.9% of the general population and upwards of 20% of in-patient psychiatric residents. Currently, there are four recognized subtypes of BPD…

Are you doing these in your relationship? — A hard truth is that sometimes the only thing standing between our happiness in our relationship is ourselves. We’ve probably all heard of self-sabotage — where we unconsciously (or consciously) go out of our way to throw a wrench in the works in our lives while sitting back and wallowing…

How growing up with narcissistic parents can affect our sense of Self — Managing toxic relationships in our lives can be difficult, especially if we grew up with narcissistic caregivers. When we grow up in a narcissistic environment, the rules change. We learn survival mode. We become hyper-vigilant in observing the micro-details of our environment and assessing for danger. We watch for subtle…

We may be experiencing a traumatically bonded relationship and not know it — A traumatic bond is defined as two partners who have a foundation of control, manipulation, and sabotage as the basis of their relationship. While there are many factors that establish and maintain traumatic bonds, they all share one common pattern: they have cycles of both positive and negative intermittent reinforcement…

Unpacking misconceptions, misinformation & the hard truth — I think most therapists can agree that one thing we don’t expect to hear too often is a client saying they’re a “narcissist” and that they need help. With the word “narcissist” being overused and misused on social media the past few years, many now claim to know someone who…