Borderline personality disorder is really a pattern of trauma responses — I have studied Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) for years. Two things that have always affected me are how subpar many treatments are for BPD and how backwards diagnostics are regarding this very confusing — and stigmatized — disorder. BPD affects a person globally in many more ways than “just” their…

How childhood trauma changes our idea of “normal” — Being raised by narcissistic caregivers or growing up in a toxic environment affects us much deeper than we may realize and can affect our mind, emotions, and body more than we may be consciously aware of. …

What to be aware of when it comes to trauma and relationships. — If we have experienced a traumatic event, we can respond to it in one of four common ways: fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. Of course, there are many variables that influence the intensity, duration, or quantity of a traumatic response including our age, how many traumatic events we’ve experienced, the…

Learning compassion for those suffering from complex trauma — “Traumatized people chronically feel unsafe inside their bodies: The past is alive in the form of gnawing interior discomfort.” Bessel van der Kolk Let me start by saying that this may be a trigger warning for some, and I apologize to anyone who may find this emotionally disturbing, but I…

These lies can lead to a pattern of self-betrayal. — Not every negative emotion or feeling we have is trauma-based. Making this impulsive leap is how over-generalizations are born and can take on a life of their own. To assume that every time we feel stuck, it must be trauma-related is b.s. …

3 ways healing our inner child can foster a sense of safety and connection within ourselves. — The U.S. Department of Veteran Affairs reports that approximately 15% — 43% of children and teens have experienced trauma, with estimates as high as 6% of adolescents developing Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. These statistics involve over 5.5 million children with reported cases of neglect or abuse. …

If there’s unhealed trauma in your relationship, here’s how you’ll know. — Small traumas can affect our lives as much (or more) than isolated, large traumas. We may not know that these traumas are affecting how we engage in our relationships, our choice in partner, or the effects of unhealed trauma on our ability to connect with those in our lives. If…

Many don’t realize these symptoms are often associated with childhood attachment trauma. — Attachment trauma is any traumatic event that happens during a child’s development and negatively affects the quality of their life and their ability to securely attach to others. Attachment trauma can include abuse, neglect, or invalidation from a primary caregiver during key developmental stages in an infant’s life.

#1 is the most important. — Most of us aren’t overthinking the red flags we see in our partners as reflections of our earliest pain. We’re dismissing the red flags while shaming ourselves for having seen them in the first place. We probably aren’t putting two-and-two together on why we’re in the habit of attracting backstabbing…